Thursday, September 8, 2022

me picking apples circa October 1999

Do you ever get a weird vibe off people and sometimes it's a downright bad vibe, but then everyone else is all like 'oh they're super nice' and so you ignore that feeling even though you cannot shake it and always have the weird ick whenever that person pops up on your social media feeds or at brunch or whatever because same. 

And it's inevitable that this happens to me time and time again, but I keep ignoring the weird ick feelings I get because I convince myself that it's just me overreacting as I tend to do and that I can trust the other people who I'm also friends with. Then it happens again. 

I'm equal parts terrified of becoming a pariah in the friend group because I openly voice my feelings about the weird ick vibes I'm feeling about certain members, and the other equal part terrified of the weird icky person doing something harmful to me. I mean not like murder, although technically I suppose this is possible, and now clearly something I should add to the worry about. But more like, well let me give you an example. 

This person who also owns a small shop gave me an ick vibe, but all of booktok seems to vibe with I followed them back because I figured if all the other people I was enjoying chilling with on the inter webs thought they were okay, then I probably was overreacting (possibly jealous? - more on this later). Anyway, this person ended up using one of my designs that I had never sold in their shop, and when I brought this up to them I was first ignored for several weeks then it was highly confrontational. The design was taken down though. But still...major weirdo ick vibes all over the place. 

And it's not an isolated incident. 

This has happened to me multiple times and every single time I have been right. It's not always an ick vibe though. Sometimes I just feel like everything about a person is fake and carefully curated which wigs me out because it makes me wonder what kind of awful trauma and atrocities are hidden beneath that meticulously maintained exterior that is being presented to the world. I mean, I guess that's also an ick vibe. But also concern?

Am I alone in this? Do you get ick weirdo vibes from people? 

Talk to me on social media and let me know! Links below.

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