Monday, October 17, 2022


A few days ago I confessed that I was struggling mentally. And I still am. 

Unfortunately, there is no magic cure or quick fix. 

Yesterday was really bad. I spent the day crying randomly about things that *might* happen. I made my son promise not to ride his motorcycle because my obsessive thoughts and anxiety had me convinced that every time my phone rang with a random number it was the police calling to tell me he wrecked. 

This is how you know things are bad is when I actually am answering my phone to unknown numbers then promptly bursting into tears when it's just someone trying to sell me an extended warranty for my car. (FYI my car is a 1969 VW any and all warranties expired long ago). 

I knew I was headed into a state of crisis, so I got out my handy dandy bipolar binder (a nerd even in mental illness). Flipping through all of the strategies, I was being pretty negative about each one and why they wouldn't work. Then I started the mindfulness exercises because those are easy. 

If you scroll back through my old podcasts (listen here) I used to share a mindfulness tip each Monday. I started with just the noticing.

And today I do feel better. 

I struggle frequently. It's part of being bipolar along with the anxiety, the OCD, the PTSD, as well as the physical issues like Sjogrens and CIPD. So I need a whole host of meds as well as coping skills to get through things. 

Plus I think all of us could use a little more living in the moment and mindfully appreciating our experiences and everything instead of planning for the next big things or wondering how to take the perfect photo for our social media. Enjoy the moment instead. 

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